ARCTIC CIRCLE — Last week, Paramount Pictures received a complaint from the iceberg that sank the RMS Titanic, stating dissatisfaction with its cameo in James Cameron’s Titanic (1997). “I was in the movie for literally two minutes—I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself,” said the iceberg, which claimed that if it actually wanted to sink the ship, it could have done it way faster. “I’ve been here since the last Ice Age, then suddenly a ship comes along and now everyone’s on my case. With all this global warming stuff, I need people on my side.” At press time, the iceberg offered to house polar bears in a last-ditch attempt to improve its image.
About Carl Hatch 15 Articles
Carl Hatch is from Long Beach, California, or more appropriately, Strong Beach. He has also seen the video "Llamas With Hats" and The Walking Dead, so don't even ask.