PHOENIX, AZ—The Enabler recently did a profile on former UCLA economics student Joshua Rosen, who had decided to drop out of UCLA. Unfortunately, sources report that he has struggled since then, having to settle for an entry level job with poor health benefits.
According to several sources, Rosen has taken a job on an entry-level contract in a non-economic field doing manual labor, forced to move from his home in lush Los Angeles to the middle of Arizona. It seems his background at UCLA did him no good, as he was the tenth candidate in line for the job, with the other nine candidates deciding to pursue more lucrative ventures in lively places such as New York or Chicago.
“I wish he could have had a job in New York, with Wall Street and his economics background and all that, but it’s nice to see him stable in Arizona,” said Jim Mora, Rosen’s former academic mentor and support system. “He’s now paid lower than most of the people in his field, but I believe he has what it takes to become a first-string employee in the company.”
Sadly, it is also reported that Rosen also gains little health benefits as a result of his position. The heavy manual labor of the job puts him at risk for head injuries, which could affect Rosen for the rest of his life. The company, however, refuses to compensate workers for damages incurred due to this matter. The CEO is already under fire for poorly handling other public relations fiascos concerning domestic abuse, so that issue has been put off.
Whatever his future holds, it seems Rosen has decided to abandon his economics background. When former peers were asked to comment, one stood out in particular.
“That’s what happens when you’re not a STEM major,” smirked local electrical engineer Sid Michaelson. “Good luck finding a good job in this economy with no skills!”