WESTWOOD–Three hours after having a cochlear device surgically implanted, previously deaf man Brandon Holtsmann has decided to remove the implants in order to preserve his marriage. “Her voice was really nasally and high-pitched, not what I imagined it to be at all,” reported Holtsmann upon hearing his wife for the first time in the post-operation room. “She started jabbering about going out to dinner with her parents. I guess I’ll finally be able to hear about their trip to the botanical gardens.” At press time, Holtsmann continued to regret his transition to an audible lifestyle as his wife excitedly scanned his face for his reaction to the Dave Matthews Band.