WESTWOOD—UCLA Community Service Officer David Connolly reported that he was feeling quite a rush after he and his team stormed the forests behind Hitch suites and told a group of students they couldn’t smoke weed there. “We received a tip that three suspiciously chill individuals were seen making their way into the woods at approximately 9:30 PM, so at 9:32 a team of five of us made our entry via the road near the trailers, cleared through the bushes, walked down the stairs, zeroed in on our targets and forcefully told them that they couldn’t smoke weed there,” said a distressed Connolly as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “We’re always anxious when we approach these menaces—we don’t know how dangerous they may be when they’re on their marijuana high. But it’s all just part of the job.” Connolly and his CSO squadron then bravely embarked on a mission to vet the entry of residents from the foreign De Neve Plaza into Rieber Hall.
About Jack Lyons 68 Articles
Area Man. Freelance fraternity president. Aspiring father of two. Probable future Nobel laureate. Occasionally collude with Russia.