APPLE STORE — Fourth-year English major Emma Woodhouse was surprised last week when her first date with a Computer Science major was at Apple’s Genius Bar. “When he said we should go to a bar, I didn’t think he meant the one at the Apple Store,” said Woodhouse, whose date insisted they both look at each other through Apple Vision Pros the entire time. “I asked him what his love language was, and he said Java. Since when is making coffee a way of showing affection?” At press time, Woodhouse’s date collapsed when he saw her Android and swiftly took her to Steve Jobs’ grave to repent for her sins.
