RICHMOND, VA — Following several seconds of one-sided deliberation, classmates of Polk Middle School 7th grader Bethany Walton confirmed to reporters Tuesday that despite her […]
LOS ANGELES—Two civilians, Glen and Lisa, were hospitalized earlier today after I accidentally knocked a candle over, setting fire to their apartment. “Clearly he didn’t […]
SANTA MONICA―An unidentified shoplifter left La Pistola Tattoo Parlor with a stolen tattoo of the Chinese character for “strength” on his lower back, police reported […]
LOS ANGELES—A recent study by the News Inanity Research Laboratory revealed that the increasingly ridiculous state of real events has triggered a dangerous shortage of […]
LOS ANGELES—A recent survey conducted by the Los Angeles County department of transportation found that as many as 70% of Los Angeles drivers who admitted […]
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