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Opinion

POINT: Raising Tuition Causes More Problems Than It Solves / COUNTERPOINT: The Peasants Should Not Be Educated Lest We Risk Another Uprising

November 17, 2014 Luke Moran 0

Point Raising Tuition Causes More Problems Than It Solves By: Ryan Smick With the UC Regents set to vote on a tuition hike that would […]

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The Enabler Asks You: Bcaf’s New Turkey Sandwich

October 8, 2014 Luke Moran 0

A petition to bring back Bcaf’s old turkey sandwich recipe has gained nearly 400 supporters. Though the original sandwich was criticized for its high sodium content, […]

I Will Dump A Bucket Of Ice Water On My Head For Whatever Cause, I Don’t Care

August 15, 2014 Luke Moran 0

These days, it seems you can’t go a minute without hearing about the Ice Bucket Challenge. Everywhere you look, there’s some celebrity with a “wacky […]

Why Yes, My Daughter Would Love To Join Your Spanish Folk Dance Society

April 19, 2014 Luke Moran 0

Honey. Hey honey? Chrissie-buns? Come over to this table please, I want you to meet someone. Just put your phone down for one second… Oh […]

Murmurs & Rants: Fuck Cal

March 23, 2014 Enabler Staff 1

Dear Cal, Fuck you. No, seriously. Fuck you. Who even let you happen? We, the students of every other UC ever, have a list of […]

I Have A Plan To Bring Girl Scout Cookies To UCLA On A Permanent Basis

March 9, 2014 Luke Moran 0

Now let’s be clear about a few things first. First of all, what I’m advocating does not necessarily qualify as kidnapping per se. Can some […]

The Enabler Asks You: Do you support the proposal to divide California?

February 22, 2014 Luke Moran 0

As many of our readers may know, a petition to divide California into 6 different states has been gaining momentum over the past several weeks. […]

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Enabler Asks You: What are you doing for Valentines day?

February 13, 2014 Luke Moran 0

It’s that time of year again! Enabler staff hit the campus this week to get the low-down on some of our reader’s plans for Valentine’s […]

You want three weeks of winter vacation? Fine. One week then.

January 29, 2014 Luke Moran 0

Running a statewide public university system is difficult. I hope you understand that. And as regent, sometimes you have to make tough decisions. Sometimes you’ve […]

Posts pagination

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  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

  • Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
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  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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