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Campus

Discriminatory Grading Policy Favors Students That Work Harder

January 24, 2016 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD—Allegations of widespread discrimination favoring harder-working students in the University of California system arose Monday. “Not only are certain students more likely to get higher […]

Fire In Boelter, Everyone Gets Lost And Dies

January 24, 2016 Kushal Chatterjee 0

WESTWOOD—The Los Angeles Fire Department confirmed earlier this week that there were no survivors of the massive fire that broke loose in Boelter Hall. “It […]

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Freshman Floor Plays Another Fucking Game of Cards Against Humanity

January 24, 2016 Melissa Peng 0

HEDRICK SUMMIT—Starved for human contact, residents of the ninth floor of Hedrick Summit played their fifth game of Cards Against Humanity in three days. “I […]

Woman Eating Alone Reads Sriracha Label Twenty-three Times

January 24, 2016 Melissa Peng 0

WESTWOOD—Noting her intense gaze and furrowed brow, sources confirmed that UCLA student Sophia Wu read her Sriracha bottle’s label a total of 23 times while […]

Student Resents Professor’s Chinese Accent, Totally Fine With TA’s Italian Accent

December 5, 2015 Melissa Peng 0

WESTWOOD — According to sources, UCLA student Neil Taegan, known for openly mocking Economics Professor Hui Li’s Chinese accent, has no qualms about T.A. Sofia […]

Student Gets Head Start On Test, Asshole Status

December 5, 2015 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD — Attempting to give himself more time on his exam Tuesday, second-year Statistics-major Mike Foster got a head start on his Math 33A final as […]

PETA Denounces Cruel Treatment Of Bruin Bear

December 1, 2015 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — Following UCLA administration’s decision to put a large protective box around the Bruin Bear statue in Bruin Plaza for “Rivalry Week,” People for […]

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Students Take Break From Battling On-Campus Hate To Hate Crosstown Rivals

November 27, 2015 Christopher Wong 0

LOS ANGELES – Lobbing disparaging remarks at the Trojan student body during the UCLA-USC football game Saturday, students at the University of California, Los Angeles […]

Astrophysics Students Blinded from Looking Directly at the Sun

November 25, 2015 Ken Rudnick 0

WESTWOOD, CA — A class of 23 UCLA students from the astrophysics general education course ‘My Star and Me’ were blinded this Monday after taking part […]

Report: Single Gourd In B-Plate Promises Festive Holiday Season

November 24, 2015 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD — Sources confirmed today that B-Plate has risen the stakes this holiday season, as the addition of a single gourd to the dining hall’s […]

Posts pagination

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  • Local Pizza Delivery Boy Shocked At Scantily-Clad Customer’s Lack of Money

    RANCHO MURIETA — A local pizza delivery boy faced a shock last night when he delivered to a scantily-clad woman who didn’t have the funds […]

  • UCPD Enlists California Highway Patrol to Boost Middling Police Violence Rates

    WESTWOOD — Following weeks of peace and safety on campus, UCPD has announced a partnership with the California Highway Patrol in an attempt to restore […]

  • Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel

    Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]

  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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