Dropped Pencil Sparks Spontaneous Rendezvous With Classmate’s Crotch
WESTWOOD — Second-year Natalia Peña had an impromptu meeting with a classmate’s crotch today after she accidentally dropped her pencil between their seats. “The whole […]
Campus
Student Takes Three-Hour-Long Twenty-Minute Nap
WESTWOOD — Third-year UCLA student Christine Rivera allegedly engaged in a twenty-minute nap for three hours early Wednesday evening after a stressful morning of classes. “I […]
Report: Ambiguity Maybe Annoying Sometimes
WESTWOOD—A recent report from the Eh Center of Studies suggests that ambiguity may be annoying sometimes. Released sometime in the last month, the report hints […]
Student Dresses Up As Ackerman Bathrooms For Halloween
WESTWOOD — Reports confirm that second year Linguistics major Sarah Halladay plans to dress up as the Ackerman Student Union restrooms for this year’s Halloween festivities. […]
Gene Block To Hand Out Single Hershey’s Kiss On Halloween
WESTWOOD — In a memo to UCLA and the greater Westwood communities this past week, UCLA Chancellor Gene Block announced that he will set aside […]
Out-Of-State Student Thrilled by Scenic View Of LA Smog
WESTWOOD, CA — According to sources, out-of-state student Roberta Flemington is reportedly delighted that her room in Dykstra Hall overlooks the famed Los Angeles smog. […]
UCLA Frat Says No One Wore Blackface, Only ‘Rachel Dolezal’ Face
WESTWOOD — A fraternity says that no one wore blackface to the recent “Rachel Dolezal”-themed party that sparked protests on campus last week. The fraternity […]
Student Has Perfect Thing To Add To Lecture
WESTWOOD — Much to the admiration of those around her, second year Jessica Grant confirmed Monday that she had like the perfect thing to add to […]
Report: Students Spending More Money On Textbooks Than Useful Shit
WASHINGTON, DC — A study released by the United States Department of Commerce Thursday found that college students are spending an increasing amount of money […]
Douchebag Met At Frat Party
WESTWOOD—Christie Temple, first year student at UCLA, expressed vocal surprise regarding an encounter she had with a douchebag at a fraternity party last Thursday. “He […]