WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an announcement from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that the attack on Rafah would proceed despite international pressure, the Biden administration […]
WESTWOOD — During a press conference late Thursday evening, a team of scientists from Boelter Hall announced that they had created the slowest elevator possible. […]
BURBANK — Following declining viewership, ABC announced early Monday morning that they would be creating a new chancellor-themed spinoff to the hit reality TV show […]
LOS ANGELES – In a move described as “childish” and an “unjustifiable use of public funds,” the LA Metro announced late Friday night it would […]
WEST HOLLYWOOD – After a rebrand by the National Parks Service, local onlookers and passersby have been stunned by the fact that Smokey the Bear […]
WESTWOOD – Following a particularly good LS15 class session, first-year film major Wes Scorsese logged the lecture to his Letterboxd. “Triumphant, in every sense of […]
WESTWOOD – After UCLA Men’s basketball’s recent loss to Villanova, coach Mick Cronin has re-recruited Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in an attempt to revitalize the team. “We’re […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise announcement early Thursday morning, President Joe Biden declared the Vietnam War 2. “We had two wars in Iraq. We […]
BAKERSFIELD — After an increase in sightings of shadowy figures and odd characters, many are beginning to believe that strange things are afoot. “The curse… […]
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Business Economics major Cornelius “Chad” Getty recently revealed that the “connections” that got him his job were actually just his parents. “I […]
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