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Articles by Anya Bergstrom

Bel-Air Property Auction Gets Heated Over Having Best View Of College Town

April 23, 2024 Anya Bergstrom 0

BEL-AIR — In the process of brokering a deal worthy of its property value, a Bel-Air home auction recently got heated over having the best […]

Saturdays Are For The Boys, But Tuesdays Are For Making Tapestries

March 14, 2023 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD — Loading two crates of art supplies into their van, a group of fraternity brothers belonging to Nu Phi Chi were seen huddled in […]

Report: Number Of Dining Hall Utensils Stolen Weighed Against Your Soul In Afterlife

January 31, 2023 Anya Bergstrom 0

PURGATORY — A recent study by God revealed that the number of utensils stolen from dining halls on The Hill will be weighed against your […]

Wuss Uses Umbrella In Thunderstorm

January 10, 2023 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD — Bearing resemblance to a spoon-fed toddler, local wuss Jimmy Wetblanket was spotted using an umbrella on campus following thunderstorm warnings. “I don’t understand […]

Haunted House On The Hill Just Classic Triple Inhabited By Three Men

October 20, 2022 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD— In a whirlwind of festivity, the UCLA On-Campus Housing Council has decided to celebrate the spooky holiday season with their very own haunted house […]

  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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