Wuss Uses Umbrella In Thunderstorm

WESTWOOD — Bearing resemblance to a spoon-fed toddler, local wuss Jimmy Wetblanket was spotted using an umbrella on campus following thunderstorm warnings. “I don’t understand what’s wrong with not wanting to be rained on!” said Wetblanket while wearing Strawberry Shortcake rainboots and a galaxy themed parka. “Yeah, I may have never pleased a woman in my life, but at least my poncho keeps me dry.” At press time, Wetblanket was seen being struck by lightning while carrying the umbrella his Mommy packed him.