Angeleno Prepares For Storm By Already Driving Like Shit
WESTWOOD — In preparation for this week’s rare October storm, one local resident has decided to take up driving like shit in order to lessen […]
Articles by Alex Yang
Jerry Neuheisel Admits to Using Etsy Witch After Win Against Penn State
WESTWOOD — In a press conference following UCLA Football’s upset victory against now-unranked Penn State, UCLA interim offensive coordinator Jerry Neuheisel revealed that he had […]
Opinion: Hire Chip Kelly
DeShaun Foster is finally gone after 15 infuriating games as UCLA football’s head coach. He sucked so much that Athletic Director Martin Jarmond, occasionally known […]
Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed
It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]
Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]