Why Yes, My Daughter Would Love To Join Your Spanish Folk Dance Society

NR_womanHoney. Hey honey? Chrissie-buns? Come over to this table please, I want you to meet someone. Just put your phone down for one second… Oh please, you can text Jake anytime.

This is George, he’s the president of Circle K here at UCLA. Isn’t that something? Of all the 40-odd active members they chose him to be their president. Very impressive, huh? You love volunteering don’t you? Why don’t you put your name and email down for the nice boy. No?

Well, ok then. I’ll just do that for you.

What do we have here now? Oooh, a creative writing club. You love to write, don’t you, hun? Of course you do! I remember you wrote that story about the family of rabbits for Mr. Halladay’s fourth grade class. Mr. Halladay liked it so much he wanted you to read it aloud, remember? You had such a way with words when you were younger, it’s a shame you never stuck to it. I’ll just sign you up for this one too, just in case.

Boy, there sure are a lot of people here. We better sign up for everything fast!

Here’s one you’ll enjoy: the Chess Club! You loved the chess club in high school, didn’t you, Christine? That’s where you met that New Jersey boy—Blake, wasn’t it? See, there we go. I knew you’d like this one. I’m sure you’d fit right in. Just a little fyi—Chrissie here was the vice president for her club back in high school. Yep, she has a lot of history with the chess club. That was where she had her first period, in fact. The first club meeting of freshman year, right as they were starting to introduce themselves. She just stood up and scampered out of the room, like a little antelope.

Oh don’t you “mom” me. I’m just making conversation.

What’s that? Yes, I will take a flier. I’ll take that one too. Here, put these in your tote bag… It’s the Korean Christian club! You’ve always liked Korean Christian culture. Don’t give me that look.

Oooh, they have candy at this booth.

Hmm, this one looks interesting. What’re you all doing in these pictures, some kind of dance? Spanish folk dancing, huh? Your aunt Mona would absolutely love this. She danced when she was in college, you know. Not only her but everyone on your dad’s side always said you were so graceful. I could see you up on stage tapping those clogs, strutting around like the queen of campus. It’s going to take a lot of work, but I think you’d be great at it.

Chrissie, where are you going? You have questions, don’t you? You’re supposed to ask them questions!—Oh, she’s shy. Don’t mind her.—

Look hun, I know you might not want to do this right now, I know you haven’t made your final decision yet, but it’s very important that you talk to as many people as you can. The friends you make in college will be with you for the rest of your life. They’ll be your bosses, your coworkers, your roommates—who knows, one of these nice guys you talk to could be your future husband.

In any case, your father paid a lot of money to fly us out here for Bruin Day and I am not about to let you waste this opportunity.

Fine. Why don’t we… The Rowing Club! If you don’t want to do Spanish folk dancing, why not rowing then? You’re going to have get some exercise in sooner or later, you know. You can’t just spend all day holed up in your room doing CS homework.

Or how about archery then. Or golf! There’s a fun one! I’ll put you down for that. You’re going to get so many emails by the time we get home. Isn’t this fun?

What’s that? You don’t want to go to UCLA anymore? You’re enrolling somewhere else instead? Well jeez honey, all these organizations seem fine to me. ❖

About Luke Moran 70 Articles
Dank, fam

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