UCLA Provides Police Violence As Safer Alternative To Counter-Protestor Violence

WESTWOOD — After UCLA student activists were attacked by counter-protestors Tuesday night, university administration immediately handled it 24 hours later by calling cops to brutalize students instead. “Admin support made all the difference; I felt much more comfortable being beaten with a baton by the cops than bear sprayed by counter-protestors,” said a student protestor, coughing up only a little bit of blood. “Even though the police could have released us quickly with a citation after arresting us Wednesday night, UCLA Administration showed us they really care. They called LAPD to make sure we got personalized service, charging each of us individually!” At press time, the administration explained that police used rubber bullets to guarantee students would be able to access safe overnight housing at the hospital.