Trump Can’t Introduce Health Care Plan Because She Goes to Another School

WASHINGTON D.C. — In an interview with “38 Minutes” on Tuesday, President Donald Trump revealed to interviewer Lesley Stahl that his administration’s highly-anticipated health care plan could not possibly be introduced to the American public because she goes to another school. “Believe me, I was very excited to introduce it to you and the American people, but it would be impossible because she just left, and she’s really busy this week,” said Trump, who insisted throughout the interview that the health care plan had a “stupid thick” body of text. “Why don’t you believe me Lesley? I’ve had plans before! My friend Paul Manafort—you know him—if he was here right now, he’d tell you I’m telling the truth. It’s just too bad he’s on house arrest, and you can’t talk to him. Too bad.” In a briefing later that day, Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany added that the infrastructure plan cannot be introduced until after the election as well because they met online, and it lives in Russia.

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Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.