Things To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Don’t worry, no one is thankful for the food.

Still not sure what to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? Don’t worry! The good writers of the Westwood Enabler have you covered.

#1 – Our boys in blue

#2 – Our glorious leader President Donald Trump, who valiantly rescued three UCLA basketball players from the Chinese criminal justice system

#3 – When you walk in the shower and there isn’t even a single hair on the ground

#4 – Sitting next to someone in class without pneumonia

#5 – That one class where you’re not expected to talk to anyone because you have no friends in it

#6 – Charles Manson finally resting with the angels

#7 – Your roommate’s boyfriend who lives here now, I guess

#8 – That Yellowstone volcano that will kill us all

#9 – The two hours on Mondays my roommates are gone

#10 – Sticking your hand forearm deep in a turkey’s anus, as is tradition

#11 – Native American immune systems that were susceptible to smallpox which allowed this country to be settled by western Europeans

#12 – A shallow grave in the desert that hasn’t been discovered yet

#13 – Your friendly local satirical publication

#14 – Gene Block