Report: One-Year-Old Water Bottle Still Not Washed

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Maxwell’s water bottle is opaque and must be peered into to be examined for mold.

WESTWOOD—Earlier this week, sources confirmed that third year Environmental Science major Elizabeth Maxwell hasn’t washed her reusable water bottle since she bought it last year. “It’s stainless steel so it’s bacteria resistant, you know?” Maxwell said, who has not looked inside her water bottle for the last nine months. “And I’m saving water. My roommate says she thinks it smells like mold, but as long as it just smells like mold and there is no mold, I’m sure it’s probably fine.” When asked, Maxwell stated that she can neither confirm nor deny the presence of mold inside her water bottle.