MANKATO, MN–Just weeks after declaring the 2028 Olympic bid will be offered to the City of Los Angeles, International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach expressed having second thoughts about the decision after eating his first meal at Bruin Plate, a restaurant on site of the to-be Olympic Village at UCLA.
“You always hear about how good the food is at this campus, but no one tells you that the portion sizes are suitable for the samples at a Costco cart,” said a hangry Bach while waiting in line at the Harvest section for his fourth piece of potato of the evening.
“I don’t know how my team missed this. This is an obvious issue. I have six plates and I’m not even finished with my meal. How are we supposed to get Phelps through here? Hiring the man-power to do his dishes alone will put us over budget.”
At press time, Bach was confabulating on the viability of a “BYO Drink” Olympic Village policy to accommodate for the indefinitely out-of-commission spritzer machine in Bruin Plate’s eastern wing.