WESTWOOD—This week, UCLA Facilities Manager, Hannah Wilson, announced that she had come to the decision to replace all clocks in north campus with more aesthetically pleasing sundials. “Regular clocks are just too ugly and noisy with their incessant tick tocking—always trying to remind you what time it is,” she said as she tore off her wristwatch and hurled it into the bushes behind her. “I’m sure I speak for all north campus majors when I say that maintaining the highest standards in artistic design is paramount to the educational process. Of course, we’ll have to require a single unit course on the history and interpretation of the timeless device, but it’s only an hour and a half a week. Who can’t fit that into their schedule?” At press time, Wilson was seen frantically searching the bushes yelling that she was late for her exam.