Miss America Pageant to Replace Swimsuit Competition With Naked Mud Wrestle

NEW YORK —The Miss America Organization has reportedly dropped the swimsuit portion of the competition, replacing the category with a WWE-style naked mud wrestle. “We will no longer judge a candidate on her outward physical appearance but will focus instead on her substance, like the execution of her piledriver,” said former Miss America winner Gretchen Carlson, demonstrating the move on Good Morning America host Robin Roberts. “Who doesn’t want to be empowered, learn leadership skills, and be able to show the world your incredible chokeslam or five-star frog splash?” Following the announcement, former owner of the rival Miss USA pageant Donald Trump took to Twitter to express his support for removing the swimsuits from the competitors.

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Recovering former Android user. Chronically late but occasionally trying her best. Twitter @anyabayerle.