Man Receives Prophecy From Different Gypsy Woman Than Usual

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The prophecies coming out of Westwood are world-famous.

WESTWOOD–Local man Martin Thompson was surprised today when his daily prophecy was delivered to him by a different gypsy woman than usual. “Usually when I’m heading to work, she’ll stand on the street corner and cackle something like ‘beware pride’ or ‘your children will drown in the blood of your crimes,’ but it’s someone different today. Where’s Raluca?” The new gypsy woman doesn’t have an eerie scar on her face like Raluca, Thompson stated, but she’s at least noticeably blind in one eye. “I guess that’s an okay trade,” Thompson said. “I kind of miss Raluca, though.” At press time, the new gypsy woman shape-shifted into a raven and flew away before she could be interviewed.