Local Flyerers Not Advertising, Just Hate Trees

Graphic by Isaiah Little

WESTWOOD — A new student organization, the Bruin Dendrophobic Social Movement (BDSM), began flyering daily last Wednesday on Bruin Walk to promote their bold new “Trees Suck” initiative. “I just think the trees are hiding something. They’re shady,” stated BDSM leader Woody McElfatrick with a mischievous grin, while high-fiving passersby and physically patting himself on the back. “Puns aside, if we kill even one more tree by harassing people with sheets of paper, that is really all the thanks heroes like us need.” Members of BDSM were last spotted handing out blank sheets of paper while McElfatrick held a lit match to a nearby tree.

About Jack Grossman 3 Articles
Jack Grossman is from Oklahoma.