Father of Pardoned Turkey Squares Off Against Trump

MANKATO, MN — After being attacked for his lack of gratitude toward President Donald Trump, area turkey Mr. Gobbles, father of recently pardoned turkey Drumstick, expressed his dissatisfaction with the president.

“Let him do his political affairs and let me handle my son,” the domesticated turkey said from his rural Minnesota farm of residence. “Let’s just agree to stay in our own coops.”

Drumstick was officially granted amnesty by President Trump on November 21 during a televised ceremony in the White House Rose Garden. Because of the president’s actions, he will be able to live out the rest of his life with immunity.

“It wasn’t the White House, it wasn’t the State Department, it wasn’t father Gobble’s so-called people on the ground that got his son out of a Thanksgiving meal – IT WAS ME,” President Trump tweeted early in the morning the following day, after Mr. Gobbles refused to publicly thank him for the clemency.

“Mr. Gobbles is an ungrateful fool,” said a follow-up tweet.

At press time, Mr. Gobbles was overheard saying that if he had to thank someone, it would “probably be [Chinese President] Xi Jinping.”

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