Dreaming Agricultural Science Major Visited By Sagacious Ear Of Corn

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Taino’s brethren.

COLLEGE STATION, TX—While coquettishly fending off the advances of a sexually aggressive tomato, dreaming Agricultural Science major from Texas A&M University Hannah Joles was visited by a sagacious head of corn, Taino, the progenitor of all modern corn species. “Discard your prepossessions, Hannah, for they will become you, like the seed becomes the stalk,” spoke Taino to Hannah, who recorded the proverbs on a handful of imagined napkins offered to her by the tomato. “Count not your kernels in the spring, but rather, in the fall, only after they populate your silos. Beware the foreign mountebank peddling specious seeds, for a seed brought to ripeness outside of natural course is an abomination and should be cast into the fire.” Joles recently published a compendium of Taino’s proverbs, Thus Spoke the Corn, that is selling well in the United States and will soon be available in Spanish and German.