Douchebag Met At Frat Party

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Many first year students are dismayed after their naive, brotherly conceptions of fraternities are smashed by drunken patriarchal assholery.

WESTWOOD—Christie Temple, first year student at UCLA, expressed vocal surprise regarding an encounter she had with a douchebag at a fraternity party last Thursday. “He was totally creeping on me and trying to grab my ass,” Temple said, noting that although she had heard of the occasional douchebag at a party filled with drunken nineteen year old boys, she never expected to meet one herself. “They were supposed to be a scary bedtime story your mom tells you about, something that isn’t real. Like genocide.” When solicited for comment, the young alleged douchebag shrugged and said, “Bitches be salty.”