WESTWOOD — With the Nov. 13 “Ben Shapiro: The Rise of Campus Facism” event, Bruin Republicans was officially declared to be back on their bullshit by everyone. “Things were going so well around here,” said the entire student body, in reference to the seven weeks with no scandals or controversies masked under the pretense of “free speech.” “We just kind of thought they all graduated or got a reality check,” the student body continued, “but here they are again, back on their bullshit.” At press time, Bruin Republicans justified the club’s recent inactivity by clarifying that their goal of pissing off the campus community was to be thought of more as a “marathon, not a sprint.”
