Box Of Condoms Already Collecting Dust

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The box was reportedly purchased before Reynold's senior prom in high school.
The box was reportedly purchased before Reynold’s senior prom in high school.

WESTWOOD—After being secretly stashed in the bottom drawer of first-year English student Marvin Reynold’s desk, a box of Trojan condoms is reported to already be collecting dust. “I’m not even opened yet,” stated the condom box underneath several unread Bruin Walk flyers. “Sometimes the drawer opens and a hand reaches for me, almost to check if I’m still there. But then I hear a deep sigh and it is total darkness again for days.” At press time, the box of condoms began to ration out supplies as its expiration date drew near.