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Articles by Felipe Bris Abejón

Harvey Weinstein Found Hiding In SAE’s Basement

October 29, 2017 Felipe Bris Abejón 0

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“The Democrats Ought To Do Something,” Says Democratic Lawmaker Doing Nothing

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of President Trump’s recent executive orders, Democratic lawmakers unanimously decided to finally stop him as long as each registered […]
Top Five Goonable Robots

Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]
Elon Musk Relegated To Cuck Chair At Trump Billionaire Orgy

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Seating arrangements at the weekly Trump billionaire orgy have revealed that Elon Musk has been relegated to the cuck chair. “Guys, can […]
Julio Frenk Promises Undocumented Students He Will Do “Absolutely Nothing” To Help Them

WESTWOOD — After demands from the undocumented student group IDEAS for the Chancellor to meet with them, Julio Frenk has announced in a campus-wide email […]
Opinion: If Your Class Has A Week 9 Midterm, I Should Be Allowed To Skip The Final

Merriam-Webster defines a midterm as an examination in the middle of an academic term. A UCLA quarter has 10 weeks. So what’s the deal with […]

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U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves
4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
Opinion: I’m Evacuating With My Custom Fantasy Tentacle Dildo And That’s IT

Douchebag Dogwhistle: Avoid Men Who Use The Phrase “Walkable Cities”
Local White Boy Makes Big Splash In Intramural Dodgeball Scene
Historic UCLA Rugby Hazing Ritual Ruined By Guy Who Just Loves To Drink Piss

J.D. Vance Just Happy To Be Included In Group Chat For Once
STEM Major Still Has To Google Unit Circle
“The Democrats Ought To Do Something,” Says Democratic Lawmaker Doing Nothing

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