SPRINGFIELD, IL — After another monotonous week of organizing carpool and running errands around town, area mom Linda Milken earnestly revealed that she was tired. “I’m exhausted, honey,” she explained, after being asked by Jason Milken, her seven year-old son, to prepare dinner after soccer practice. “How about we just order a pizza? Here, here’s my credit card. If you need anything I’ll be upstairs in my room.” Sources report that Jason enjoyed a slice of pepperoni pizza alone as quiet sobbing echoed through the house.
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Interim Editor-In-Chief, Full Time Smart-Ass