The W.E. Guide To History: Black Friday
LOS ANGELES — As seems to be the case with most if not all of our cherished American traditions, Black Friday has a much “darker” […]
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Obama Pardons Terrorist Turkey
WASHINGTON D.C. – This Wednesday, President Obama participated in the annual tradition of the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. Unusually, Obama chose a turkey from Guantanamo Bay. Truffles […]
Students Disappointed At Enormous Activities Fair’s Lack Of Enormous Activities
WESTWOOD—“I’ve never felt so bitterly disappointed in my life,” said freshman Emily Offshore. Like many others, Offshore visited UCLA’s Enormous Activities Fair (EAF) to view the […]
A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones
HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]
Student Neglects to Forward Chain Letter, Almost Dies
WESTWOOD – Yesterday morning, police were called to UCLA’s dormitories after a student woke up in terror. The student, whose name cannot be revealed for […]
Spring Sing Mix Up Leads To Choreographed Hostage Situation
WESTWOOD — The much anticipated seasonal jubilee known as Spring Sing saw an impressive number of attendants as expected yesterday evening, though the otherwise exuberant […]
Royce Light Show “More Dangerous Than Banned Pokemon Episode”
WESTWOOD – Rumors surrounding the Royce Hall light show have been working their way up and down Bruinwalk, and some of them are not in […]
W.E. Guide To 2014 Student Elections
Student Elections are often confusing, skull-smashingly boring affairs, where we have the chance to make the over-achievers and go getters of today become the politicians […]
Картина фламандского крестьян, что не имеет контекст
Вествуд—Посмотрите на эту картину, она не имеет контекст. Почему мы это делаем? В чем причина? Посмотрите на это Barack Hussein Obama. Только посмотрите на него. […]
New Study: You’re Probably Not Getting Laid Tonight
WESTWOOD – Leading researchers and also every one of your close friends confirmed yesterday that you’re probably not gonna get laid tonight. “That shirt makes […]