MONTICELLO, VIRGINIA–Reporting feelings of tremendous fear, notable Founding Father Thomas Jefferson abruptly woke up in a cold sweat early this morning after a nightmarish vision […]
CHICAGO–With the Chicago Cubs’ World Series win this Wednesday, liberal America has begun praying that the nation’s quota for unfathomable victories has been fulfilled for […]
MENLO PARK, CA – With the general election weeks away, political commentary that nobody asked for from Facebook users’ normally inactive older relatives has increased, […]
WASHINGTON D.C. – A conservative movement to #abolishthe19th has taken Twitter by storm this past week, leaving the other twenty-something amendments of the Constitution feeling […]
LOS ANGELES — Local keysmith and registered voter Adam Wells has still not decided which candidate he will support for President of the United States […]
WASHINGTON, DC — At a press conference held at the Republican National Committee headquarters earlier today, RNC chairman Reince Priebus jubilantly announced that he had […]
NEW YORK CITY—Donald Trump announced at a rally this morning that, if nominated, which “[he] might as well have been from the very second [he] […]
NEW YORK CITY—In light of the Academy’s response to controversy surrounding the homogeneity of the actors and films nominated for Oscars, businessman and Republican presidential […]
NEW YORK CITY — At a press conference in the Trump Tower this past Thursday, Donald Trump demanded that Santa Claus relocate his workshop to […]
FREMONT, CA — For the fourth consecutive year in a row, self-proclaimed scientist and uncle to five Joey Burke announced at a Thanksgiving dinner turned […]
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