Unemployable Student Goes To Grad School

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year history major Elisa Lee, who has zero marketable skills or relevant work experience, has just announced her intention to go to graduate school. “I was surprised I had so much trouble finding a job. I mean, I worked at Chik-Fil-A for two whole years, and I’m fluent in Latin as well as English,” said Lee, who announced her lifelong love of history after flunking the LSAT. “But I’m confident that by the time I graduate (again), the job market is going to be so much better and all of my student debt will be forgiven!” At press time, Lee was crying loudly after doing the math and realizing she will never own property.

About Gillian Smith 50 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.