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Pope

Religious Scholars Discover Jesus Had a Balayage

June 23, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

VATICAN CITY — On Monday morning, the world’s leading religious scholars announced that Jesus actually had a balayage, contrary to their earlier reports that he […]

Pope Francis Says Homosexuality OK, Lactaid Unnatural

March 11, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

VATICAN CITY — The Catholic Church has publicly amended its long held opposition to homosexuality in favor of condemning the most unnatural of abominations: lactaid. […]

Seven Deadly Sins Revised To Include Not Refilling The Brita

January 19, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

VATICAN CITY — The Holy Roman Catholic Church announced on Tuesday that the Seven Deadly Sins will be revised to include Not Refilling the Brita. […]

Opinion: The Pope Isn’t As Hot As My Dad

October 19, 2021 Gillian Smith 0

VATICAN CITY — How many times do I have to say this? Pope Francis isn’t the hottest old white guy out there! Every freaking time […]

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