Student Fails Midterm Election

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APOLL+PIC3
Park’s failure to vote correctly is expected to have grave effects on her peer’s opinions of her.

WESTWOOD—Noting a severe lack of knowledge in local politics as well as a preoccupation with school work, second year Hannah Park admitted to having completely and utterly wasted her ballot in California’s state election this morning. “Sadly, none of the candidates or propositions I voted for even begin to approach what a majority of Americans would consider acceptable,” stated Park, who clearly hasn’t done the research required to represent the will of a nation over the past several weeks. “Sometimes I think it would’ve been better if I had pretended I was too sick to vote, but then I remember that democracy is one of the most fundamental rights afforded to citizens of this country. Who am I then to silence my own voice?” Park, after doing some research on her phone, later went on to say: “Shit, so that’s what prop 47 was about?”❖