Sociologists Suggest UCLA May Be Part Of Larger University System

WESTWOOD — Noting several similarities with other colleges in California, UCLA sociologists studying American institutions of higher education suggested on Wednesday that the Los Angeles-based public research university might actually be one of several similar universities operating within a larger state university system.

“Over months of conducting field research at public universities across the state, we have observed striking similarities between UCLA and other schools, including the University of California, Berkeley and the University of California, San Diego, leading us to believe that they may be governed by a common higher entity,” said one of the sociologists charged with leading the study, adding that the similar colors adopted by several of the schools, as well as the use of the name “Sproul” at multiple campuses, indicates a common ancestry. “Further, upon interviewing students from these universities, we discovered that they all applied to their undergraduate programs via the same online application regardless of which campus they attend. This, coupled with the fact that all but two of the universities run on a quarter system — which is extremely rare among most other colleges endemic to the United States — demonstrates that these similarities cannot possibly be mere coincidences.”

Despite the mounting evidence that a higher authority may govern UCLA and at least 8 other California universities, skeptics insist that the universities cannot possibly be operating in the context of a larger system due to a lack of evidence for a common funding source.

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