Roommate Alarmed By Number Of Un-Ironic Halloween Decorations

Johnson has woken up to a face full of fake cobwebs three times in the past week.
Johnson has woken up to a face full of fake cobwebs three times in the past week.

WESTWOOD—Student Ariel Johnson reported feeling increasingly alarmed this week by the number of un-ironic Halloween decorations that her roommates have put up in their room. “I know lots of people who put up a few cute things to get into the Halloween spirit, but the extent of legitimately frightening decorations they have is something I have never experienced before,” Johnson said, washing her hands after touching a door handle that her roommates had doused in fake blood. “Last night, we listened to the full 10-hour loop of the Spooky Scary Skeletons Remix. I thought it was fun for the first two minutes, but we started listening to it at 2 a.m. and they turned up the volume every hour.” At press time, Johnson’s roommates were reportedly carving her likeness into a jack-o’-lantern as a sacrifice to the Spirit of Halloween.

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About Sierra Scott 24 Articles
Sierra is an accomplished writer who has been with the Westwood Enabler for as long as many can remember. Years? No. Decades? No. The ancient Mesopotamians referred to her as "Shalduth, the Night Bringer" but she usually goes by "Sierra."