I am no superhuman, I am no deity, I am simply Best Buy’s “Employee of the Month.” You may be thinking, “He has it all. The pin, the framed photo in the break room, the coveted affirmation of superiors and the admiration of inferiors,” but no. The pin I display upon my blue polo shirt, designating me “Employee of the Month,” does not release me from the sweet temptations of earthly sin. Despite what the title implies, I am still a flawed, imperfect human just like the rest of you.
I am capable of making egregious errors such as restocking Premium Multi-Purpose Printer Paper in the designated area for 30% Recycled Multi-Purpose Printer Paper. I am susceptible to impure thoughts: some of my deepest fantasies involve the printer aisle of our greatest competitor, Office Depot. Sometimes I question whether I’m worthy of my honorable title when my mind commits such atrocities.
I am writing this to show you that I am in a constant fight with my inner demons. I do not want this honor to change your view of me or magnify your perception of me to something I am not. Please treat me as if it were any other month.