Local Man Enjoys Airport Pat-Down

By , in National News on .

LOS ANGELES — After waiting for over two hours in the security line, local man Michael Beal reportedly “thoroughly enjoyed” a pat-down from officials at the Los Angeles International Airport. “With all the hustle and bustle of LAX going on around me, I guess I forgot to take off my belt before I went through the machine,” said Beal, also citing the fact that his skull contained as much as 4% titanium as a potential red flag for the airport scanning technology. “It’s funny because I was initially worried about missing my flight since the pat-down took so long, but Officer Klein was very gentle and really relaxed me before my flight experience.” Beal was later seen waiting for the aircraft to reach its cruising altitude of 10,000 feet before safely using his portable electronic device to ask the TSA agent out on a date.