Exciting News: Hovering Over Public Toilets Proves To Be Most Effective Ab Workout

This toilet is begging for a good squat!

BEVERLY HILLS – A recent study has revealed that the most practical way to work out your abs is by hovering over public toilets.

“Whenever I go to a public bathroom, I make sure to choose the dirtiest toilet with the most pee driblets in order to hover efficiently,”Ronda Rousey confessed in the latest Fitness Magazine spread on how to get toned abs in less than ten minutes.

According to the study, 99.9% of athletes and fitness instructors use this method in their daily workout routine, with the exception of Richard Simmons, who loves the thrill of sitting on a filthy toilet seat. One of the conductors of the study stated that, “the act of hovering is both mentally and physically stimulating, thus working out not just your abs, but also your quads, glutes and the entirety of your brain.”

The results of the study have proven that hovering over public toilets makes you smarter and stronger. Getting a six pack has never been so attainable; instead of spending money on an expensive gym membership, just drive to the nearest McDonalds and pick any toilet seat–you are more than 100% likely to get those defined abs you’ve always dreamt of.

At press time, conductors of the study revealed that doing crunches on the diaper changing station is just as effective as toilet hovering.

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Salma is a comediENNE and professional female. You can catch her having her period, writing jokes about her period, talking about her period, and being a woman.