EAST WALES, BRITAIN— Following the recent death, resignation, or otherwise incapacitation of several of England’s most influential old white conservatives, the former global power has collapsed and been annexed by Wales. “Oi, bruv, the guvmint’s a right shambles, eh?” explained new East Welsh citizen Shannon Jones, who had spilled her tea down her knickers at the news. “Innit a cryin’ shame. We used to rule the bloody world, and now we’re bloomin’ sheep farmers.” At press time, the territory formerly known as England had been renamed Llingfapwllgyllgochrwyll.
