Class Clown Hides In Sewers To Tell Jokes

By , in Campus News News in Briefs on .
Rogers often waits for hours in the dark just to deliver the right joke.

WESTWOOD—UCLA second year and Pennywise wannabe, George Rogers, was found this morning coated in feces, peering through a sewer telling popsicle-stick jokes to frightened bystanders. “What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator,” Rogers said as he drooled down his menacing grin. “Everyone keeps saying I’m a hack for copying that ‘It’ guy’s shtick, but I’ve been doing this since 8th grade. The inspiration really hit when I made a dick joke in class and my teacher said I had my mind in the gutter; that’ll be my thing, I thought. Plus, I don’t need silly make-up or dead children to fluff up my act.” This morning before lecture, Rogers was seen scrubbing off dried urine from his microphone.