BREAKING: Rain, Shit

WESTWOOD — Contrary to all laws of nature and common sense, it is still raining in Los Angeles. Pamela Hauser, 1st year English major and SoCal resident, was just one of many Angelenos who has taken every opportunity to complain about the status of the 1-2 inches of rainfall. “This is insane. Insane!” Hauser whispered under her breath before entering the drizzle in a rushed frenzy. Hauser considers herself an environmental activist, but has vocalized her concerns regarding rain-induced tragedies such as wet umbrellas and being cold. “Some may laugh at LA’s reaction to the weather. But please be sensitive. We were not prepared. We could not have predicted this. We might even have to cancel all our plans for the next few days if this keeps up,” Hauser preached on Twitter, “Please use #LARain to tweet your thoughts and prayers to the victims of the rainfall.” After several days of on and off showers, this makes the phenomenon officially the longest period of city-wide hysteria since that one time a few people heard thunder.

About Sam Mallari 7 Articles
The Asian writer LA deserves, but not the one it needs right now. Experienced cartographer. Can make a mean baguette. Voted “Most Likely to be Unemployed” by everyone in the family.