Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel
Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]
comedy
Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache
dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]
Hedrick Hall Residents Commanded To Find Two Of Every Animal
WESTWOOD — Following flooding at Hedrick Hall this morning, residents have been commanded to find two of every animal through a divine email mandate from […]
Vampire Draws Line At Period Sex
WESTWOOD — Local bloodsucker and thousandth-year religion student Vlad Cullen was seen insisting to his suitors he was down for almost anything in the bedroom, […]
Stolen Goods Stolen From Place With Exclusively Stolen Goods
PARIS — Parisian police officers were stunned to discover this weekend that priceless jewels were stolen from the Louvre, a place that exclusively houses priceless […]
Friend Who Can’t Drive Way Too Invested In Formula One
AUSTIN, TX — This weekend, second-year Mechanical Engineering major Diem Vee posted multiple photo dumps of himself trackside at the 2025 United States Grand Prix […]
Ask The Enabler: Is It Too Late To Cancel My Den Pass Refund?
Dear Westwood Enabler, I bought a Den Pass to maximize my time at UCLA and to give my uncle yet another excuse to bet on […]
Consulting Clubs Consulted On What The Fuck They Actually Do
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s ten thousand consulting clubs recently came under fire when they were consulted on what their clubs really do besides pose for headshots […]
Man With Fragile Ego Sits In Waymo Driver’s Seat
WESTWOOD — While returning home from a failed driver’s license test, aspiring Cybertruck owner Grant T. Otto broke Waymo’s ‘rider rules’ by climbing into the […]
Angeleno Prepares For Storm By Already Driving Like Shit
WESTWOOD — In preparation for this week’s rare October storm, one local resident has decided to take up driving like shit in order to lessen […]