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Class of 2025

Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

June 16, 2025 Azalea Morris 0

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Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]
Skeletons In Closet Come Out
Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]
Experimenting Princess Clarifies She “Could Kiss A Frog, But Never Date One”

FAIRYLAND — Today, one princess set the record straight about her sexual preferences after being caught with a frog. “Even though I had so much […]
Joe Bruin Bulks Up, Grows Beard For Pride Month

WESTWOOD — After undergoing twink death at the age of 99, beloved UCLA mascot Joe Bruin has now transformed into the bear he was meant […]

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Georgia McNeill

Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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