The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • On The Paper
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
    • Point/Counterpoint
  • Listicle
  • A&E
    • Arts
    • Celebrities
    • Culture
    • Trend Watch
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact
  • Store

california

Gift Of Prophecy? Californians Glad They Voted To Keep Inmate Firefighters Enslaved

January 10, 2025 Rachana Aithal 0

CALIFORNIA — As Southern California wildfires stretch non-incarcerated fire crews thin, Democrats and Republicans alike are applauding their foresight in voting against Proposition 6, which would […]

Opinion: I’m Walkin’ Here

January 29, 2024 Tal Israeli 0

MANHATTAN — Hey! Yeah, youse over there! I’m walkin’ here! You think you’re so classy in your fancy Toyota whip, huh? Oh, did I scare […]

Newsom Adds Tinder Hookups To Phase Two Of Reopening

May 15, 2020 Mackenzi Elias 0

SACRAMENTO, CA — In today’s daily coronavirus briefing about reopening California, Governor Gavin Newsom announced that Phase Two, which involves the reopening of businesses such […]

No Image

How To Vote In The California Primaries

May 29, 2016 Enabler Staff 0

Voting season got your panties in a bunch? Never fear, The Westwood Enabler is here. Here are our top tips to make sure your vote matters. […]

  • Flakers Anonymous Reports Record Low Attendance

  • Consulting Clubs Consulted On What The Fuck They Actually Do

    WESTWOOD — UCLA’s ten thousand consulting clubs recently came under fire when they were consulted on what their clubs really do besides pose for headshots […]

  • Man With Fragile Ego Sits In Waymo Driver’s Seat

    WESTWOOD — While returning home from a failed driver’s license test, aspiring Cybertruck owner Grant T. Otto broke Waymo’s ‘rider rules’ by climbing into the […]

  • Angeleno Prepares For Storm By Already Driving Like Shit

    WESTWOOD — In preparation for this week’s rare October storm, one local resident has decided to take up driving like shit in order to lessen […]

  • Uh Oh! Student’s Twelfth Grandparent Just Died

    WESTWOOD — Last Sunday, second-year Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics major Calvin Dozer revealed that his Step-Step-Grandpappy just died, making this the twelfth grandparent dead […]

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

ARCHIVES

RECOMMENDED

  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    August 2, 2025 0
  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    August 1, 2025 0
  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    July 8, 2025 0
  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    June 30, 2025 0
  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

    June 29, 2025 0

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes