BRUIN WALK — In an exclusive interview with the Enabler, prolific Bruin Walk salesperson Ven Moe disclosed today that selling wares on the well-trod pathway is how many students save their eternal souls. “It is the final purification. The final means of entering the holy joy of heaven,” Moe said, wielding a Porto’s strudel in one hand and an 85 Degrees brioche in the other. “Also, my club makes everyone sign up for at least one shift.” At press time, Moe had ascended to the next level of purgatory and was found flyering on Bruin Walk, repeating the mantra of “premed or pre-health?” while enviously eyeing those being baptized at the matcha pop-up.
