Local Pizza Delivery Boy Shocked At Scantily-Clad Customer’s Lack of Money
RANCHO MURIETA — A local pizza delivery boy faced a shock last night when he delivered to a scantily-clad woman who didn’t have the funds […]
Articles by Jessica Meeker
Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea
Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]
Uh Oh! Student’s Twelfth Grandparent Just Died
WESTWOOD — Last Sunday, second-year Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics major Calvin Dozer revealed that his Step-Step-Grandpappy just died, making this the twelfth grandparent dead […]
Secretary of Defense Announces That Only The “Boy Lesbians” Will Be Eligible for Future Drafts
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Commenting on the draft eligibility of American women, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced that only the “boy lesbians” would be eligible. […]