Gang Of Musical Theater Majors Terrorizes Students, Snaps Rhythmically
WESTWOOD — This past week, a roving gang of musical theater students hell-bent on verbally, physically, and musically assaulting every non-Gleek within reach plagued UCLA’s […]
Articles by Jade Lacy
Op-Ed: Toddlers Are Idiot Loser Virgins
When I heard I was gonna be an uncle, I was like dope. But as soon as little Piss Pants was born, I realized that […]
Young Research Library Introduces Sensory Deprivation Tanks
WESTWOOD — In preparation for finals week, the Charles E. Young Research Library’s collaboration pods have been replaced with sensory deprivation tanks full of salt […]
Only Man In Gender Studies Class Raises Hand
WESTWOOD — In last Tuesday’s Introduction to Gender Studies discussion, Brock Price, a 6-foot tall football player, frat brother, and the only man in the […]
Local Man Not Nazi, Just Thinks Swastikas Look Cool
LOS ANGELES — In an unsolicited interview Friday evening, local WASP Luke Campbell adamantly refused any allegiance to the Third Reich, despite a prominent swastika […]
Study Finds Earth Could Be Too Hot For Light Jackets By 2050
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a revelatory study released last week, the Environmental Protection Agency claimed that not too bad, but slightly chilly days may be […]