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2020 election

Rudy Giuliani Still Waiting On Text From Maria Bakalova

October 26, 2020 Max Flora 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his encounter with actress Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, attorney Rudy Giuliani is still waiting for her to reach out […]

Candidates Debate Fracking, Vow To Inject Chemicals Into Voters’ Bloodstreams

October 22, 2020 Dylan Wood 0

NASHVILLE — Amid contentious debate over the dangers of hydraulic fracturing, or “fracking,” both presidential candidates have endorsed a plan to inject carcinogens directly into […]

Op-Ed: Bernie Sanders Can Still Win 2016 Presidential Election

October 6, 2020 Kylie Kinne 0

The lies of the bourgeois press may have led you to believe that the 2016 presidential election has already concluded. Well, I’m here to tell […]

Beto O’Rourke Legally Changes Middle Name To “Kickflip”

September 4, 2019 Kylie Kinne 0

EL PASO, TEXAS — In an impromptu press conference held in a Whataburger restaurant yesterday morning, presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke announced that he had legally […]

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