WESTWOOD — Enabler reporters have confirmed that the classmate who still has not learned your name after four weeks harbors a deep and profound hatred for you. “As soon as you sat next to me in lecture, I felt rage like nothing I’d ever felt before. I had to find some way to torture you,” said your classmate, who has you saved in their phone as “Human Garbage (Psych 100B).” “Every time I call you by the wrong name, I take away a piece of your humanity. Mark my words, I will destroy you.” At press time, your classmate was asking for just the first letter to jog their memory.
